One of the fundamentals of emotional intelligence is that a leader’s emotions and moods spread to their team. No matter how skilled one is at “hiding” their true emotions, studies have proven they come out subconsciously through language, tone of voice, non-verbals, paraverbals, and other micro-behaviors. And people pick them up.
In other words, as a leader, you have a unique superpower just by virtue of your role: emotional wi-fi. You have a “wireless” energy that your team can connect with right away, and through which they can “access” a certain mood or emotional wavelength.
If you are in a joyous mood, people are likely to feel happier. If you are frustrated or angry or sad, people are not only likely to avoid you but may start feeling negative emotions of their own. If you are playful, your team will engage in humor, fun, and smiles. And if you are anxious or worried, your people will start feeling their own form of fear.
In other words, you are the thermostat that sets the temperature and the people you lead are the thermometer that shows the reading.
The ability for you to control that thermostat is one of the most powerful actions you can take as a leader. At Junto, we talk about it as the cornerstone of your emotional intelligence: building the awareness of what you are feeling in every moment, why, and that it’s being “transmitted” to others, no matter how much you’re trying to hide it.
But it doesn’t stop there.
A more complex skill is then building your capacity (self-management) to tune into how others are responding to your emotions (social awareness). And when you begin to make progress with both of these skills, you’re in a much better position for teamwork, harmony, influence, and inspiration (relationship management).
So when you walk into the office or show up on a video call, there’s an opportunity for you to think about what temperature you want to set. Then you can take a reading that will tell you more about your team than you originally thought.
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